emotional rollercoaster

Babe. I think life is screwed up for everyone. Maybe it’s the end of the world. Everyone is going to be burnt and then we can all go to hell. Hahs.

What’s wrong with people? It is too much to type out. There isn’t a point to do so anyway. Yeah. I’m BAD at consoling people. And it is SO not my fault for being like that. think however you want, say whatever you want. *humphs* it’s not like I don’t want to be there for you. It is just that… how can I be there to let you scream at and insult whenever I muster the courage to say something. It’s unfair. So what if you’re down. That is not a way to treat a friend. Ok. I know that I’m doing well and you’re not and that I don’t have any right to say anything. I know that these grades are important. I know. I know. But…that is not a way to treat a friend. I might be misinterpreting you. I might have misunderstood. But I’m not the only one feeling like that.

I’ll never be able to do PR. I totally suck at sucking up and at talking. And worse. I look like a kid with attitude problem. Hah.

Why do I have to live in a house where I’m not comfortable in at all. How can I dread going to the house. I stay here (at least till the end of my term). I want to be comfortable with the people here. But it seems impossible. First was her, and now it’s you. Life suck totally.

I want to change. I don’t want to be associated with mean. I don’t want to be seen as ‘dao’. I want to be friendly. But no matter how hard I try. Things seem to be impossible. Life was never this hard at Queenstown. Socializing and all was never a problem. Does this justify the fact that you have to be ‘up there’ to be sociable? Or is it just the people? It seems that people are not generalizing your school. To me, everything is TRUE. You guys are spoilt, snobby, EGOISTIC and look down on those who are less competent. Grrr… are all these just 气话? I don’t know.

Someone please tell me that I’m being petty. I should forgive and forget. but it is not like I’m being 小气. How can you stand someone who claims to be your friend yet insults you in your face. Is that what you consider being a friend? You might claim that you’re joking. But it hurts. It does. It makes people feel inferior. Is that how you should make your friend feel? So you can boost you EGO? BITCH! I have my pride too! I refuse to let you hurl insults at me. I GOING TO STUFF IT BACK IN YOUR FACE! So what if my English is not perfect and I’m from a NEIGHBOURHOOD SCHOOL?! HUH?! Bah…

Ok. I was too worked up. But it is true. I’ve cooled down and I shall let matters rest.

Right. I’m sane now after much discussion with my (other) housemates. Retail therapy for me tmr. Haha. It works for me. :)

Anyway, I think you REALLY have a problem with guys. Like TOTALLY man. What’s up with you. Just chill out. That way you can get to know them better coz they don’t treat you as some stuck up bitch whom they’re trying to impress but a friend whom they can confide in and tell their secrets to. Finding the perfect guy is not exactly important it is finding someone who you’re comfortable with. Especially someone who DOESN’T annoy you or you have to try hard to be compatible with him. You get what I mean.

Hang out, have fun, relax. And stop thinking about it. The more you think the more complicated the situation gets. And then nth good is going to come out of it. you don’t have to try hard to impress guys. Maybe you try too hard such that you intimidate them. I mean NO guy wants a perfect gf. I’m serious. They’ll feel inferior. Which isn’t good AT ALL. Well. That’s how I feel at least. Maybe too much cosmo for me. Haha.

I think I’m a bitch. I flirt too much. And it is unintentional flirting which is WORSE coz…I don’t even know that I’m leading the guy on. Haha. Oops. Bad shu. My guy problems are over. IGNORE THEM I SHALL. Hahs. no. I cant live without them my frens are 70% males. Lol. It is not my fault. Anyway, I’m getting on fine. :)

It is not that you’re too man. Maybe you’re just being too hard on yourself. Trying to be the perfect girl and all. Hmm… you might be too intellectual for them. If so then you can try going for guys older than you. The guys here are airheads if that is of any consolation. Seriously. 21 yr olds behaving like… morons. Ughh. Even I feel embarrassed for him. Gosh! What is the world coming to…

It is all up to society to decide who should be stronger emotionally and in the past, men were superior to women. So naturally they are seen to be less emotional. Coz they are ‘not allowed’ to. I mean women then might have been emotionally stronger but were just unable to express themselves. Now, society is becoming more open so women seem to overtake the roles of men. Ok. I dunno what I’m talking about already. Good for you if you actually understand. Ahaha..

Cant help you with placement I have no freaking idea. *stares blankly*

And being a lesbian is no fun at all. Imagine all the PMSes and mood swings. And all the irritating little things that girls do. Hahs. did I tell you that I have a lesbian friend and she was interested in me last time. Oh gosh. I freaked out man! Anyway, that was the past.

Ahh… from my grades and what JGHF ‘guessed’ I’m the commerce kind of person. So at least that’s settled. And I don’t think I want to major in other studies coz they sound spastic. So yeah acct and finance is like the only way out. Oh well. I hate making decisions so yeah. good that everything is planned out. I don’t mind being a broker. I’m quite cool with it. hahs.

Oh well. There is a 10 hr gap between us. Hah. It is hard to find a time when we’re both free. :) but nevertheless, we’ll talk soon enough ya? Hugs. Take care. Guys are freaks. Stay away from them. Ahahaha…